The Quarterback Quiz: Atlanta Falcons

Now this is an easy one, if only because I don't have to really write about any guy in particular; the Falcons are in a state of Armageddon at quarterback. Also, can I be the only one that thinks their logo looks like a llama, not a falcon? I swear, the claw looks like a llama head, the actual falcon looks like its little topknot, and every time I see the damn thing, I'm reminded of Kuzco from the Disney cartoon The Emperor's New Groove. Also, funny note: I once had a dream that Falcons quarterback Byron Leftwich (former Falcons quarterback, I should say, since they cut him a few days after the Super Bowl) did not like one of my books, and was getting all up in arms about it. I must be an insecure writer indeed, if I'm dreaming of Byron Leftwich's displeasure. Byron Leftwich, people. I'm serious.

Atlanta Falcons (4-12): Whichever Summabitch Wants The Damn Job

Now that Ron Mexico... excuse me, Michael Vick, is enjoying the comforts of the federal penitentiary system following his extremely well-publicized trial and conviction for running a dogfighting ring, the Falcons have been left with no successor behind center. They tried all sorts of bit parts -- Matt Schaub, Byron Leftwich, Joey Harrington, yo momma -- and since they won the third overall pick in the draft on a coin flip, they almost have to take either Boston College's Matt Ryan or Delaware's Joe Flacco, a pair of QBs from slightly smaller schools who created a lot of buzz at this week's just-concluded scouting combine. Ryan is projected to be the first QB off the board, is as close to a finished product as is available, and Flacco has physical size, arm strength, confidence, and all the other qualities you'd want in a young QB to re-build the franchise around. Since the Falcons don't pick again for some time, all the best options may be gone by then (unless they can take advantage of a Colt Brennan/Andre Woodson/John David Booty-type slipping to the later rounds, as may happen with any or all of those three).

Either way, quarterback is by far the Falcons' biggest need in the draft, and once they choose somebody from the above list, I'll come back in April and give them a proper preview. In the meantime, it's just not worth profiling any of their internal options, as clearly those aren't the answer. So, I shall issue an IOU on the Falcons for now, conclude the NFC South, and move onto the AFC West tomorrow. Which means our star will be... brace yourself... Philip Rivers! YOU BETTA ASK SOMEBODDAAAYYYY!!