18-1

Congratulations to the New York Football Giants; that was a freaking awesome game. I have been rooting for Big Blue ever since the wild card playoff round, and persisted in my support against the Cowboys, Packers, and Patriots -- a roulette of heavyweights and the Giants rose to the occasion each time. They repaid my support by doing the impossible and pulling off possibly the biggest Super Bowl upset since Colts/Jets 1969. Eli Manning is MVP just a year after his big brother Peyton took home the award against the Bears, and for now, he has license to tell New York to get off his back. In fact, since he's swung the perpetual New York/Boston pendulum back in favor of Gotham, he will be everyone's best friend for the rest of the offseason... at least until training camp starts. They're fickle like that.

The Giants won behind not only Eli continuing to play at an elite level, but a ferocious defense knocking back, sacking, and generally making life miserable for Tom Brady all night. The Giants struck first with a Tynes field goal, the Patriots answered right away with a TD to make it 7-3 in their favor, and that was how it stayed for seemingly forever, until the Giants came up with a touchdown to make it 10-7. Then, with under four minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, Tom Brady led his patented last-minute drive, connected with Randy Moss for the TD, and with a 14-10 lead and 2:42 to play, 19-0 was looking like more and more of a certainty. Then Eli Freaking Manning, of all people, poured a giant spoonful of Brady's own medicine and shoved it down his throat. He somehow, I still don't know how, evaded an almost-certain sack and fired it far, far downfield to David Tyree, who somehow managed to catch it. With 35 seconds left, Eli got off the 13-yard, go-ahead touchdown pass to Plaxico Burress, who hauled it down in the corner of the endzone. 17-14. Hold those 19-0 trademarks.

The Patriots did their best with half a minute and all of their timeouts, but a few Hail Marys later, they were at 4th and 20 and had to turn the ball over. Eli knelt to take the final second off the clock, and then, believe it or not, the Giants had broken up the Patriots' perfect season and were Super Bowl XLII champs. Holy crap.

Eli Manning, MVP. And pigs aren't even flying (last time I checked).

The Joe Namath comparisons are especially apt now. I watched the game with about 15 other kids, half of whom were rooting vociferously for the Giants and half who supported the Patriots with equal brio. I was on the Giants half, and although I didn't say much, you can bet I cheered when Eli hit Plaxico for that last score. As a matter of fact, I was damn near jumping out of my chair during that last drive, and as I've mentioned, I have a fondness for the Giants and was supporting them all postseason. Wow, that was a great game -- congratulations to the Giants, and congratulations to the Patriots, who, whatever else you can say about them, still hold the record for most victories in a season (18 of them to the Dolphins' 17, except the Dolphins, as Mercury Morris will now forever remind us, didn't lose). Too bad they couldn't seal the deal (HAHAHAHAHAHA) and the 1972 Dolphins can go on a little longer about still being the only perfect team. Yay for Big Blue sparing us yet more Boston sports hegemony. After the World Series, I didn't think Boston needed more glory. Fortunately, this will keep 'em quiet for a while.

The Quarterback Quiz: New York Giants

(Note to Eli: If a strange blonde woman approaches you in a pink "Manning 10" jersey and promises to be your new best friend, run far, fast, and more importantly, in the opposite direction. Trust me, you do not want to speak to or approach this person, and should call authorities as quickly as possible).

New York Giants (10-6): Eli Manning

Elisha Nelson Manning has the misfortune of a) a disturbingly feminine-sounding first name that gets whipped out whenever his detractors wish to make a point, and b) sharing a gene pool with his older brother Peyton, who he's expected to be and continually fails to be, thus disappointing all involved. Eli is the progeny of football's most famous family, and has a father who had a long and storied career despite playing on a uniformly shitty progression of New Orleans Saints teams (it bears noting, however, that Archie had 125 career TD to 173 career INT, a career 67.1 rating, and a 35-101-3 won/loss/tie, so perhaps Eli actually is just like his father and therein lies the problem). Not to mention his brother, who despite taking eight years to win a Super Bowl, finally did so, and is widely regarded as one of the best quarterbacks of the era. Eli, however, is neither great nor a total chump, and as in Your Face Is A Sports Blog pointed out, the weird thing is that his closest comparison is... Joe Namath. Yes, and if Eli wins a Super Bowl while being the underdog by approximately a zillion points (as Namath and the Jets famously did in 1969 against the Colts) the comparison will grow even further. Everyone (well, Giants fans) are hoping that his sudden coming-of-age during Week 17 in the close 38-35 loss to the Patriots signaled that the quarterback they've been waiting for (not too patiently, this being New York) has finally arrived. The only way to tell for sure? Wait 'till next year. Sports fans of all stripes are familiar with this refrain.

The thing is, Eli was already supposed to be at this level coming out of Ole Miss. Following in his father's footsteps, he quarterbacked the Rebels for four years while setting or tying 47 (!) school records. His Ole Miss rating was 137.7, and he finished third in Heisman Trophy voting behind winner Jason White of Oklahoma and runner-up Larry Fitzgerald of Pittsburgh while racking up a slew of other ones: the Johnny Unitas Golden Arm Award, the National Football Foundation and College Hall of Fame Scholar Athlete Award (that's a mouthful, but he actually did graduate with a 3.44 GPA and a marketing degree) and various others. Based on his pedigree and his impressive college career, he was the consensus number one pick in the 2004 draft and was taken first overall by the San Diego Chargers, but San Diego had gone 4-12 the year before and Archie didn't want his boy playing there, in the relaxed, warm environment of SoCal -- so he worked out for Eli to be traded to a swamp in Jersey, in exchange for fourth-overall pick Philip Rivers (a name that may be familiar) and the Giants' first and fifth-round picks.

This also ended up netting the Chargers Nate Kaeding, who they used one of the Giants' picks on, but this is less of a loss if his habit of missing crucial field goals in the playoffs is any indication. In thus doing, Archie diddled Eli out of having LT around to make him look very good, and set his unsuspecting offspring up for a lifetime of being ridden by the New York Post. What Archie was thinking, one wonders, seeing as the Giants too had gone 4-12 the year before, and if Archie can recall his own career, he wouldn't be surprised to see that yes, Mannings were no stranger to playing on shitty teams. (Archie played for the Oilers and the Vikings during the last few years of his career, teams that went a combined 6-35).

Eli spent his first few years in Gotham making enemies of Giants fans, certainly not the way he wanted to arrive on the scene. In 2005, his first year as a starter, he finished 294 of 557 passes for a 52.8 completion percentage, a 75.9 rating, and 24 TD against 17 INT -- Eli, as everyone's aware, still has an unfortunate propensity for getting picked. In fact, his 2007 season showed him record his lowest passer rating --73.1, with 23 TD/20 INT, 3,336 yards, a 56.1 completion percentage, and 27 sacks. Not to mention he suddenly developed slippery hands, fumbling 13 times (after fumbling nine times in 2005 and 2006 each) and losing 7 of them. (Five of these, and two of the losses, came in one game). But everyone began to overlook that when the season ended and Eli had a great game against the Patriots -- 22/32, 68.8 pct, 251 yards, 4 TD, only 1 pick, and a 118.6 rating (after a 32.2 rating in the Buffalo game the week before and a 52.1 rating against the Skins the week before that, when he completed 18 of 52). As the Giants moved through the playoffs with tilts against Tampa Bay, Dallas, and Green Bay, winning all of them, and Eli began to play much more like his older brother, Giants fans, in the way that NY sports fans do, turned on a dime and decided the guy wasn't so bad after all.

Of course, as everyone knows, if Eli somehow manages to pull off one of the biggest upsets in history next week and beat the Patriots, New York will decide he really is Joe Namath reincarnated. Also, he's perfectly capable of having two or three good games in a row, so the allegations that he's "turned the corner" always come if he's managed to pass a few weeks without doing anything completely disastrous. But the Giants somewhat remind me of my Rockies -- mediocre team suddenly turns on the afterburners and goes roaring through the playoffs, then has to sit a few weeks and play a much stronger team from Boston. It'll be interesting to see how the Rockies, and the Giants for that matter, do next year now that they've had a chance to see what success tastes like.

But although Eli got called "skittish" by the Giants' owner after the horrendous four-pick game against the Vikings (the owner also publicly questioned whether the Giants could win long-term with him) it's amazing how winning has a way of putting that all to rest. Eli has saved his job for at least the next few years, and the Giants have a good running back combo (Jacobs/Bradshaw) and a still-fearsome defense (which does have questions about whether or not defensive end, and half of the Big Blue Sack Machine, Michael Strahan is planning to hang it up). They'll be good again next year, but with the Cowboys in the division, who aren't looking to get much worse, they'll have to play top-of-the-heap all year to win the division title. Can Eli do that? That's what everyone else wants to know as well.

What A Sad, Sad Day

Moment of silence, everyone.

Please, pipe down, this needs to be properly observed. It is a catastrophe of epic proportions and the world may never see something like it again. I am shocked and heartbroken.

Tony Romo has given the boot to Jessica Simpson.

NOOOOO! WHATEVER SHALL WE DO?!

Next Quarterback Quiz: sometime this afternoon. Quarterback of team? New York Football Giants. Tony wishing how much he'd done this before that game? A lot.

In other news, the Giants are going to almost beat the Patriots.

I Nailed One, Missed the Other

... which bore a great resemblance to Lawrence Tynes' field goal kicking tonight. The Giants finally won a crazazy NFC Championship game in overtime, when Corey Webster intercepted a floater by Favre, ran it back into field goal range, and gave Tynes, who had already shanked 43-yard and 37-yard attempts (the latter with 4 seconds left in the 4th quarter and the game tied at 20) a chance to kick the winner. Which he did, nailing a 47-yarder, the first time an opponent had ever made a field goal longer than 40 at Lambeau in the playoffs. Believe it or not, the Giants are headed to Glendale, Arizona and Super Bowl XLII (which will be much warmer than the -24 F, with the wind chill, that Green Bay registered at tonight. They showed an informative graphic -- it was colder than Siberia, Alaska, and Moscow there. Zoinks). Just as it did in Week 17, it comes down to the Giants standing in the Patriots' path to perfection.

Speaking of the Patriots, they won, to nobody's very great surprise. If Tom Brady hadn't been picked three times, it wouldn't have been nearly as close as 14-12 going into the fourth quarter suggested, but they put away the Chargers 21-12. I am grateful to them for doing that (no sense in risking the Chargers going to the Super Bowl) but I am rooting for the Giants. Still... Boston-NY, how original. Seeing as Boston already won one major championship, I don't see that they need another, and the Giants do remind me of my plucky but doomed Rockies -- getting hot at the right moment, but needing every inch of gumption to topple a stronger opponent. They're even NFC, as the Rox were NL, and the Patriots are AFC as the Red Sox were AL.

I'm in New York safe and sound, everything went as it was supposed to, thankfully, and seeing as it's midnight here and I was up at 5:45 this morning, I apologize if this post isn't particularly lengthy or insightful. Once I get back up to school and run errands tomorrow (I'm staying at a friend's house tonight) I'll see if I have enough in the tank to finish the AFC East quarterback previews with Cleo Lemon of the Dolphins. Once that's done, I'll turn my attention to the NFC East, examining the Cowboys, Giants, Redskins, and Eagles. We have a two-week interim until the Super Bowl, so I'll continue to provide my assorted interesting insights then. For now, I think I'm going to bed.

The NFC Championship: Surprising Dork vs. Savvy Geezer

This isn't necessarily the matchup that was supposed to happen -- if Patrick Crayton had caught that pass, the Cowboys would probably be the ones heading to subzero Green Bay for a rematch of the Ice Bowl -- but it did. Instead, the surprising Giants have ridden the #5 wild card seed all the way past the Buccaneers, the Cowboys, and now into Green Bay, where they battle the Packers for a trip to Super Bowl XLII. And since my internet is being slower than molasses today, it may take me a while to dig up all my numbers, but once we have them, I'll break down the matchup between the Lesser Brother and the Wisconsin Deity, better known as Eli Manning and Brett Favre.

Interesting sidenote time: I've had sort of a vested interest in the Giants since long before I ever followed football. When my sisters and I were kids, our dad's bedtime stories were set in New York with a vast cast of eccentric characters, and several of them played for the Giants. Buck Smith and Duke Novotny were the tackle and guard, Sparky Malone was the running back, Painless Johnson was a linebacker, and Joey (I wish I could remember his last name) was the cornerback. My dad having the fertile and demented imagination he does (hey, I had to get it from somewhere) they were all, um, interesting. Buck stuffed hamburgers in his helmet in case he got hungry on the field, Duke's idea of offseason training was to sit in front of the TV and eat M & M's by the fistful, Painless never spoke and ate wall telephones, Sparky ran backwards and dared the defensive "elephants" to catch him, and Joey sidelined as a fire-and-brimstone Harlem-church preacher. We used to laugh ourselves sick at them, and since I now go to school in NY anyway, I want the Giants to do it.

That diversion aside (and can you believe that Photobucket has still not opened? I am almost tempted to get on the arthritic desktop, it has to be faster) let's see about the specs.

How The Giants Can Win:

1. Like their underdog compatriots, the Chargers, the Giants have a strong running game -- 6'4/260 lb running back Brandon Jacobs and smaller, speedy Ahmad Bradshaw have both done well this year, and the Giants rank fourth in the NFL with an average of 134.2 rushing yards per game. The Packers rank fourteenth in run defense, allowing about 102.9 a game, so if the Giants can force that figure closer to what they normally rack up, they can find seams and score TDs without having to count on the Eli Manning Coming of Age continuing. Jacobs can use his size to gain yardage after the first hit, and Bradshaw has excellent speed.

2. Speaking of which, the Giants will need the aforementioned Eli Manning Coming of Age to continue. Heckled and belabored for years for not being his talented older brother, Eli nonetheless has done very well in the playoffs. He's finished 32 of 45 passes for 348 yards, a 71.1 completion percentage, four TDs, no picks, and a 123.2 rating. Asking Eli to air it out downfield is a recipe for a pick such as the 20 he suffered on the season, since he doesn't have Peyton's arm and accuracy and probably never will. But he's done well with short routes, counting on receivers Amani Toomer and Plaxico Burress to gain the yards, and will have to continue to play at this level and generally getting the fickle New York sports fans to throw all their support behind him and have them excited for him to be the guy. The bugaboo: The cold. Last time Eli was playing in frigid temperatures, the Buffalo game that the Giants nonetheless won, he fumbled five times, losing two, and got sacked and intercepted twice. He will have to avoid that type of turnover at all costs, but if he can be the same player he was against Tampa Bay and Dallas, the Giants will have doubled their odds -- they can rely on both the pass and the run. Eli lost a favored target when TE Jeremy Shockey broke his leg, but Kevin Boss has stepped up in his place.

3. Keep the Big Blue machine of the D well-stoked. The Giants have a fearsome defense that recorded 53 sacks while allowing only 28, and the combo of Osi Umenyiora and Michael Strahan can cause headaches for the Packers with their blitzing. (Earlier this season, the Giants actually sacked Eagles' QB McNabb a whopping 12 times, half of those by Umenyiora). They'll also need their battered corners to step up -- Sam Madison is out, Aaron Ross got shaken up last week in Dallas, and that leaves Gibril Wilson, Antonio Pierce, and Corey Webster to handle the picking duties. If the Giants lose any more cornerbacks, they practically won't have a secondary at all, and everyone knows how important a pass defense is against the ageless-wonder Favre.

4. Not allow the Green Bay mystique to get into their heads. It'll be about zero degrees Fahrenheit, cold as the blazes, in the far north with a bunch of screaming Cheeseheads drowning out Eli's best attempts at calling the signals all day. Lambeau is a terrifying place for an opponent, especially if it feels like you just walked into a freezer, but the Giants are now 9-1 on the road, their only loss coming against the Cowboys in the early going. (They have a rather pedestrian home record at 3-5, and this makes sense to me -- who would want to play in front of a bunch of bitter New Jersey drunks?) They, like the Chargers, have all the momentum and confidence in the world, and need to see if it'll be enough against the #2-seed Packers. Then again, they polished off the #1 seed Cowboys last week, and have shown they can handle pressure.

5. Not letting the Green Bay TV stations' plan to pull Seinfeld (Eli's favorite show) get into their heads. Just kidding.

How The Packers Can Win:

1. Take advantage of the sizable advantage they have in terms of familiarity with the climate. Eli and Brett Favre are both from the South (Eli from New Orleans, Louisiana; Favre from Kiln, Mississippi, but Favre has played the vast majority of his career in the arctic climes of Lambeau and is well used to it). The Packers practiced with balls that had been put in the freezer, in order to best mimic the conditions come Sunday, and since they played in a blinding snowstorm against the Seahawks, they aren't going to let a little thing like a high of zero bother them. Once you factor in that a wind chill could make it feel like -35, we really are hitting Ice Bowl rematch here. The Giants are going to be cold. So will the Packers. Fortunately for the Pack's chances, they're used to it.

2. Keep riding Brett Favre's spring of youth as far as it goes. The Pack ranked second only to the Patriots in terms of yards per game (370.7) and passing yards (270.9). 38-year-old cactus Favre put together another strong season -- 28 TD, 15 INT, 4,155 yards, a 95.7 rating (his highest since 2004, and third-highest of all time) and a 13-3 record in resuscitating the Packers, as happens every few years, to the NFC North title. Nobody's doubting that he's still perfectly able to win 'em when it counts, and since he may only be around for a few more years, the Pack is definitely motivated to help him go out on top.

3. Turn Eli-Peyton Manning back into Eli Manning. Before the postseason, Eli was talented but inconsistent, showing flashes of promise and then turning back into a pumpkin. If the Eli that fumbles and gets picked on a regular basis shows back up, the Giants fans who have been cautiously accepting him will return to scorning him, and the Giants themselves will have another offseason to prepare. In short, if the Pack can force Eli to show that his late-season success has been fluky, all they have to do is give to Favre, stop Strahan and Umenyiora, and let him gunsling at will. The Pack rank fourth in points scored with 27.2 on average a game, and sixth in points allowed by permitting only 18.2. The Giants rank fourteenth in points scored with 23.3, and 17th in points allowed with 21.9. A great deal of this can be attributed to how their quarterbacks played in the regular season.

4. Be careful when using the run game against the aforementioned tough Giants' D. Rookie RB Ryan Grant has been performing very well for the Pack, but the Giants hold opponents to 97.7 rush yards a game, good for eighth in the NFL, and the Pack run game languishes a distant 21st with 99.8. Like their compatriots the Patriots, the Packers rely heavily on the right arm of a very talented quarterback, and use the run game mainly to throw off the defense. However, since the Giants cornerbacks are so thin and dropping like flies, the Pack would be better off going passing-heavy and avoiding the still-formidable middle more than they strictly have to.

5. Find out what Osi Umenyiora's favorite show is and cancel that too.

Who Wins? Packers. I want the Giants to win, and will be rooting for them, but it's a pretty large leap to see Eli and Big Blue knocking off Brett and Giant Green on their own (frozen) tundra.