Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Presented With No Comment

I swear.... I swear....

Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn was part of a group of men shouting insults at gay passers-by outside a Columbus bar early on New Year's Day, according to a 9-1-1 call made to police.

The call at 2:35 a.m. came from Seth Harris, who reported that he encountered the group in front of La Fogata Grill at 790 North High St. The Mexican restaurant is next door to the Union Cafe Bar + Food, one of Columbus' most popular gay bars in the gay-friendly Short North neighborhood.

I swear. I won't say anything. I won't even remark on why crotch-grabber extraordinaire Quinn, upon being caught in a gay neighborhood, resorts to closeted self-loathing. Pot, kettle.... And yet, I can't hate Brady Quinn. You can't hate him either, even though he seems intent on giving you opportunity to do so at every turn. He is just good for laughter, and laughter is a good thing for all of us. Then again, he is a gigantic vagina, except.... okay, that's too easy, I won't go there. Brady Queen sounds better.

Update: Yet another amusing picture of everybody's favorite sexually confused draft holdout has surfaced. I don't know if it's been altered or not (found it on Deadspin) but I think it proves my point.

Also, one other thing. The incident allegedly took place on New Year's, which is traditionally a big party day for Queen's species. * Young Brady, who is found to be attractive by many members of the female sex (myself not included) is also amply provisioned with $20 million in his pockets and plays the most high-profile position on a team with singularly devoted fans, a few years off a successful career for a high-profile collegiate program. And yet, instead of off finding beautiful women in a feeble attempt to prove his heterosexuality and celebrate 2008, he has nothing better to do than stand outside gay bars and call the crow black while wearing a fine set of raven feathers stuck to his butt? **

Jon Kitna, who does not approve of this behavior***, will be profiled tonight.

* Young stupid jocks.

** The raven feathers are not mentioned in the report, but they very easily COULD have been there. In fact, they were, you just needed 3-D spy glasses to see them.

*** The gayness, that is.

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